01/27/16 4:57pm

Trusting Your Passions

PassionsTrusting Your Passions
by Starcat

Trying to discover your purpose in life – or to find it again after you’ve lost your way – can be challenging. We’re often told to look to our passions, to the things that we most love to do. But it can be hard to trust in those things, especially if they fall outside the narrow window of what’s acceptable in mainstream culture, or if you’re drawn to the creative arts.

How many times were you told, as a child or young adult, that your passions weren’t good enough? Everyone seems to want to comment, often critically, on what young people want to do with their lives, from teachers to parents to neighbors to Great Uncle Joe. They feel like they’re entitled to judge your life’s callings.

As a writer, believe me, I heard my most cherished goal devalued many times. “You can’t make a living as a writer.” “It’s too hard to get a book deal.” “Unless you’re Stephen King or Danielle Steele, forget it.”

For many years, I believed it. I went to college for broadcasting, because it sounded like a more “realistic” career. I worked in public broadcasting, which was a perfectly fine way to earn my living…but it wasn’t my calling. Now I’ve come full circle, and I’ve made writing a priority in my life. Slowly but surely, I’m learning to make a living this way – and I’ve discovered that there are actually many writers who do so.

Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to make your passion into your career. It does mean that it’s important to make time and space in your life for the things you’re most drawn to.

Why? Think about the reason you have these passions, the ones that continue to arise in your heart, even if you’ve shut them away for years at a time. If it’s something that is so much a part of you that it won’t be denied, there must be a reason for it.

Was it something you brought into this life with you, like my passion for the written word? Is it something that you’re naturally good at, that makes you light up when you do it?

Getting really clear on the reason behind your love for your passions can help you begin to value them more.

How do your passions help you express your unique self in the world? How can they allow you to serve others? How does the joy they bring make you a better person? In what ways do they lift you up and bring you clarity, joy, and purpose?

Answer these questions in your journal, or talk them over with a trusted friend. Once you’ve figured out what’s behind your most cherished dreams, that clarity can serve you as you begin to fulfill your purpose.

And really, your purpose doesn’t have to be complex.

“The real reason you chose to be here – your purpose and mission in life – was to simply be who you are now. Good reason.” – Mike Dooley

When you hear those critical voices in your head saying that your passion is silly, or ridiculous, or not worth pursuing, you’ll recognize that they’re just ghosts from the past. Trust your passions and savor the positive feelings they bring you. You’ll realize that you were given your passions in life for a reason, and that reason is tied in with your greater purpose for being here, and being you.

You’ll understand that just by being yourself, you are already contributing to the world in a meaningful way. Never mind what Great Uncle Joe thinks.


01/13/16 7:55am

The Purpose of Life Is…

Live Life on Purpose!The Purpose of Life Is…
by Brent BlackLion Nelson

…living life on purpose! Oh sure, call me an oxymoron but seriously, this is the real meaning of life. Make sure every moment is worth living. Fastest way to do that? Feel worthy. Honor who you are right now on this strange, enchanting, and all-around-amazing adventure called your life.

Sometimes living on purpose means taking care of yourself. It might look like drinking a smoothie in the morning, smiling at the check-out clerk at the grocery store, or spending quality personal time with, you know, you!

Pausing and recharging are fabulous ways to boost your energy for the next task at hand. When you take a moment for self-reflection, you’ll witness that your inner world is chock-full of quests, dreams, and insights. Usually, they’re muffled or even buried by the course of your day-to-day routines. Yet, if you take as little as five minutes in the morning to focus simply on your breathing, those magnificent spiritual gifts will flavor the whole of your day and beyond!

When you choose to live life on purpose, you are the creator of your own schedule. Plan some “me-time.” Sure, we all have responsibilities we’ve agreed to, yet those precious moments of delving into your inner landscape will bring treasures beyond measure. As Doctor Who fans know, “It’s bigger on the inside.”

Celebrate your wonderful family as you make meals and tidy up, appreciate your steady income that’s working for you right now, savor a lover who knows how to make you laugh at just the perfect moment, or thank your soul when she gives you a timely nudge in the right direction. Being present allows you to accept life as it arrives yet also bolsters your inner reserves to see you through all kinds of weather.

This is what life is truly about: being you! What better way to truly welcome in the New Year then by doing what you do, and being a-ok about it? Sure, we all want to grow and change, so why not accept that you don’t know all the answers, or all the “rules” for that matter, and just live life on purpose? Go on sweet one, you’ve got this!

12/30/15 8:08am

Reclaiming Your Self-Worth


Reclaiming Your Self-Worth
by Starcat

Have you ever watched a young child, say under the age of five, interact with the world? They are unapologetic about what they want. They’re quick to laugh, curious about everything, and relate with everyone on an equal basis. Sure, they’re still learning to respect others’ boundaries, but they have absolutely no doubt that they deserve the best in life. They are authentic and real.

Young children, especially those growing up in loving homes, know that they are innately worthy of existing, and of following their passions. Their sense of self-worth is fully intact.

This isn’t something you see often in adults, or even older children.

But why? How did we lose that innate feeling of self-worth?

An accumulation of factors, like these:

  • Failing, in a world where winning is everything.
  • Not fitting in, as part of a society that values conformity over uniqueness.
  • Being shy or introverted in a culture that favors the outgoing.
  • Criticism and correction by well-meaning family members, which nonetheless made you feel like you weren’t good enough.
  • Being a woman, a minority, or a disabled person.
  • Having a sexual orientation that’s frowned upon by mainstream culture.
  • Growing up in poverty, and not being able to keep up with the mythical Joneses.

Looking different, feeling different, being different.

Nothing is wrong with any of these things, and yet you were taught that being different is bad. You absorbed that lesson, especially as a child. Public school is all about conformity, about measuring yourself against others. Even the most popular and academically-minded kids often feel like a fraud, hiding their true selves behind a mask of success.

The self-worth you inhabited as a young child gets buried under a mountain of beliefs that were served up to you by those around you and society as a whole. You bought into the notion that you’re just not good enough to live your dreams, to have what you want, to live a joyful life. You’re fed the line that you should be humble, and modest, and not “toot your own horn.”

And sooner or later, you believe it, to the point where you feel guilty on those rare occasions when you do feel good about yourself. So many kind, creative, and compassionate people believe that there really is something inherently wrong with them.

It doesn’t feel good – and it’s so untrue!

The bright side to all of this is that you learned this behavior, so now you can unlearn it. You can shed those layers of beliefs and criticism and pain, and uncover your self-worth. It’s still there, somewhere deep inside.

You know that you’re worthy of love, of joy, of sharing your unique gifts with the world. Deep inside, you know that you wouldn’t be here without a purpose. Once you shed those layers of doubt and shame, you know that you can really shine.

I’ve been working with my core beliefs for several years now, including reclaiming my self-worth and self-love, with amazing results. By uncovering and embracing my innate worthiness, I’ve become so much happier. My life has changed for the better. I’m making incredible progress toward my most cherished dreams. Each day, I wake up feeling truly grateful for my life.

No, it’s not a magic pill. I still have down days, and failures, and disappointments. But the difference is, there’s no need to blame myself. I know that I’m worthy of love, joy, and health. I fall down, but I get back up and try again, without all the self-criticism and recriminations that used to hold me back. It feels fantastic!

Is this something you want for yourself?

Next week, on Tuesday January 5th at 7PM EST, BlackLion and I are offering a free 90-minute virtual workshop that will help you uncover those worn-out beliefs and reclaim your self-worth. Slots are still available for A Self-Worth Tune-Up: Gear Up for an Amazing 2016!

Give yourself the gift of reclaiming your self-worth, and start the New Year feeling empowered. Join us!

Gear Up For 2016!